Attribute #11 Embody and Nurture Self-trust, Self-worth and Self-love

To lead others effectively, one must first lead oneself and that stems from a deep understanding and cultivation of one's inner self. This approach emphasizes personal growth, self-awareness, and emotional intelligence as the cornerstones of leadership excellence.

As a child, teenager and then young adult, I suffered with low self-trust, self-worth and self-love. I was bullied and rejected from the kids around me and I didn’t fit in, at all. Thank God for the unconditional love from my parents. They encouraged me to try new things and to discover my unique gifts so I could be me and express myself and not try to fit in. They were the wind beneath my wings.

It has taken me decades of personal growth to eventually find my spiritual path and my devotion to the Light in myself and aid others to do the same. I had to learn how to tender my human self and help her build and strengthen her Self-Trust, Self-Worth, and Self-Love, which has evolved into my Higher Self truly knowing who I am and what I am  made of. 

Self Trust is the foundation of confidence and resilience. It’s about believing in your ability to handle life’s challenges, make good decisions, and learn from mistakes because mistakes are really only lessons. Building self-trust is essential for a fulfilling life because when you trust yourself, you’re more likely to take risks, set boundaries, and pursue goals that align with your values.

Here are some ways I have learned to build and strengthen Self-Trust:

• Keep Promises to Yourself: Start with small commitments. When you say you’ll do something, follow through. This builds reliability, reinforcing the idea that you can count on yourself.
• Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself, especially when things don’t go as planned. Recognize that mistakes are part of growth, and self-criticism erodes trust. Treat yourself as you would a good friend.
• Listen to Your Intuition: Pay attention to your inner voice. Your intuition often guides you in the right direction, and following it can strengthen your trust in your own judgment.
• Set Boundaries: Protect your time and energy by saying “no” when necessary. This reinforces that your needs matter, making it easier to trust yourself to make decisions that prioritize your well-being.
• Reflect on Successes and Growth: Remind yourself of past challenges you’ve overcome, even small ones. Recognizing what you’ve accomplished helps reinforce the belief that you can handle future difficulties.
•  Be Patient with Yourself: Building self-trust is a gradual process. Give yourself the time and space to develop this trust, recognizing that it grows through consistent practice and self-affirming actions. Learning to trust yourself can be deeply empowering. As it grows, it becomes easier to navigate life with confidence, grounded in the understanding that you can depend on yourself, no matter what. 

Self-Trust is the bedrock of confident leadership. Self-trust is the unwavering belief in one's abilities, judgment, and intuition. Embodying self trust allows us to make decisions with confidence, take calculated risks, stand firm in our convictions, and inspire trust in others through their own self-assurance.

By nurturing self-trust, leaders create an environment where team members feel empowered to trust their own instincts and capabilities.

In order to trust yourself you need a high level of Self-Worth. 

Self-Worth is the inherent belief that you are valuable and deserving of love, respect, and happiness simply because you exist. It’s a deep, unchanging understanding of your value, separate from achievements, others’ opinions, or external validation. Unlike self-esteem, which can fluctuate based on success or failure, self-worth is a stable inner foundation.

Here are some ways to cultivate a sense of Self-Worth that I practice:

• Accept Yourself as You Are: Embrace all parts of yourself, including perceived flaws. Self-worth grows when you understand that you don’t need to be “perfect” to be valuable.
• Challenge Negative Self-Talk: Notice any harsh thoughts about yourself and replace them with kind, realistic affirmations. For instance, if you think, “I’m not good enough,” challenge it by reminding yourself of times when you’ve been strong, kind, or resilient.
• Let Go of Comparisons: Constantly comparing yourself to others can undermine your self-worth. Focus on your own journey and achievements, appreciating your unique path and qualities.
• Set Boundaries: Setting healthy boundaries reinforces the belief that your needs and feelings matter. When you value yourself, it becomes easier to protect your energy and prioritize your well-being.
• Recognize Your Inherent Worth: Remember that you are worthy simply because you exist, not because of what you accomplish. Practice this belief daily by affirming, “I am enough.”
• Celebrate Your Wins: Acknowledge small and big successes in your life. This reinforces your ability to value yourself and see your worth beyond any mistakes or setbacks.
• Practice Self-Compassion: Be gentle with yourself when you’re going through tough times. Self-worth doesn’t mean you’ll never feel low; it means you’ll support yourself kindly through whatever life brings.

Building a strong sense of self-worth can lead to greater resilience, better relationships, and a life led by your true values rather than a need for external approval. It allows you to live authentically, grounded in the belief that you are enough just as you are.

Enlightening Leaders who embody Self-Worth approach challenges with a growth mindset, accept constructive feedback without feeling diminished, celebrate their strengths while acknowledging areas for improvement and treat themselves and others with respect and dignity.

By nurturing Self-Worth in themselves and others, leaders can foster a culture of mutual, respect and appreciation within their organizations.

When we embody and nurture Self-Trust and Self-Worth, then we expand and deepen our capacity for Self-Love, which is The fuel for compassionate leadership.

Self-Love is the active practice of caring for and appreciating yourself. Self-Love is the practice of caring for and nurturing one’ self, mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually. It involves accepting who you are at every stage of life, treating yourself with kindness, and prioritizing your well-being. Self-Love is essential because it creates a solid foundation for a positive relationship with yourself and others. When you love yourself, you’re more likely to make choices that support your happiness, health, and growth.

Here are some ways I have learned to strengthen Self-Love:

• Practice Self-Care: Self-Love begins with taking care of your physical, emotional, spiritual and mental needs. Make time for activities that rejuvenate you, whether it’s exercise, reading, or just relaxing.
• Set Boundaries: Saying “no” to people or activities that drain you is a form of self-love. Boundaries help protect your energy and prioritize your needs, creating a healthier environment for you to thrive.
• Forgive Yourself: Holding onto mistakes can undermine your self-worth. Self-Love means letting go of past errors and learning from them. Acknowledge that everyone makes mistakes and deserves a fresh start.
• Celebrate Your Strengths: Recognize and appreciate your unique talents, skills, and qualities. Focusing on your strengths can help you feel more positive about yourself and encourage further growth.
• Engage in Positive Self-Talk: How you speak to yourself affects how you feel about yourself. Challenge negative thoughts by replacing them with affirmations, like “I am worthy,” or “I am doing my best.”
• Prioritize Your Happiness: Pursue passions and activities that bring you joy, and let go of what doesn’t align with your values. When you prioritize your happiness, you reinforce that your needs are important.
• Be Patient with Yourself: Self-Love is a journey, and it’s normal to have ups and downs. Allow yourself time to grow and to be a work in progress. Love yourself through every phase.
• Surround Yourself with Positivity: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Positive relationships encourage Self-Love, as they reinforce that you deserve kindness and respect.

Practicing Self-Love is not selfish; it’s necessary for a healthy, fulfilled life. When you learn to love yourself, you set the standard for how others should treat you, and you become more resilient, compassionate, and open to life’s possibilities. 

Embracing Self-Love can transform the way you experience the world, making it richer and more meaningful.

Enlightening Leaders who embody Self-Love prioritize self-care and work-life balance, set healthy boundaries, practice self-compassion in the face of setbacks, and model emotional intelligence and vulnerability.

By nurturing Self-Love, leaders create a compassionate and supportive work environment that promotes employee well-being and engagement.